Every time I’m in a store with a computer section there seems to be a tablet running Windows that has just stopped working. Doesn’t fill me with confidence.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not endorsing the competition (he says, tapping away on an iPad) and I know there are much more embarrassing stuff-ups (like systems crashing at launches – I think this has happened to all the major brands at this point). I’m just disappointed at the banality of it all. Nobody cares. Press any key. Whatever happened to the good old Blue Screen of Death? I remember when my family’s brand new 386 PC crashed – the hard drive wiped (literally crashed). Or even better! The threatening Beeps of Mystery (nothing on the screen, just beeps you had to decode to work out what wasn’t working). Ah nostalgia. Actually, thinking about it, retro is a pretty dumb idea. And anyone who uses one of those wired Moshimoshi handsets with their mobile phone is just asking to be teased (I’m looking at you Anna).