I don’t know what’s in this box, but by the description I’m guessing that it is a device that can staple desks – and does comedy shows – and Burlesque.

-Update- I’m no longer allowed to order stationary.

(I can only buy stuff when I’m moving.)

(…)

(FYI: “Stationery” – (n.) the place you buy stations. They’re a collaborative franchise created by the cable TV and Rail networks.)

(AFYI: “Staples” – (n.) basic or principle items. For instance, in the phrase – “we need to order more staples because someone keeps stealing my paperclips and I need them to complete the post-modern work of art I’m constructing in my drawer” – the word ‘paperclips’ implies a staple.)