Why does the media triple ply us with the terror of shelves wiped free of TP, only furthering the run of a shitty situation? Sure I’m poo pooing this, but you know urinal lot of trouble people are literally tearing at each other in the aisles because they can’t get their hands on some soft cushiony toilet paper. I know our butts are on the line, but this is breaking families apart – as they go to different aisles to get around the ‘one carton per transaction’ rule.
Now, I don’t want to alarm anyone. Because, if you think about it, there is really nothing to be alarmed about. It’s just a figure of speech used to imply the opposite of its literal meaning. And I’m deliberately misusing it to be misleading and just generally confusing.
Do you ever get that strange feeling, that doubt, just on the edge of consciousness, as you drive towards a city, some known bastion of civilisation, when the visible length of your lane is empty but for you, yet there is an endless stream of traffic heading the opposite direction – do you ever, just for a moment, think… Godzilla?