Tag Archives: Humour
Too Dear
Found these clocks…
It said they were 12 bucks
But they were just two deer.
Priorities
“I will have have my revenge! If it’s the last thing I do!”
“Which it probably will be, seeing as this isn’t really high on my list of priorities.”
“So if I manage to get those other things done first, then revenge. Otherwise, meh.”
“In fact I’ll probably find better stuff to do before I even finish this list off, which will just add to the original delay before I have my revenge. So, I probably wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Unless this year is going to be excruciatingly boring, which given the current political climate seems unlikely, but if it is, then boom, you’d better watch your back. Revenge!”
“But most likely I will just go and watch a film or something until I’m over it.”
“Something light hearted, maybe with that guy from that movie about the monkey in it. You know the guy. Makes you laugh but then in the next moment makes you think. That guy is great in those things.”
“What I’m trying to say is that you probably shouldn’t have murdered my family, but I didn’t really like them anyway.”
“So… Don’t suppose you want to catch a movie?”
Award for most confusing self-endorsement
Apparently pointy glass statues are popular hair care products. Who’d have known?
The instructions on the base explain that you should beat yourself in the face with it while repeating “I am beautiful”.
On a different train of thought – it must be very confusing in a trophy shop when looking through their wares. How do they differentiate their most popular products? Do they have mini trophies for the trophies? Little endorsements on the labels from people who have previously received them? (Or is that only in the second-hand stores?)
It’s a fine line
I have a friend who refuses to drink hyphenated beverages.
Like Coca-Cola.
Weekend Work Out
Trainer: “Hey, how did you go with the protein powder?”
Trainee: “Good. So what are we doing today?”
Trainer: “Aaa, heard any dirty jokes lately?
Trainee: “No.”
Trainer: “Wanna watch a movie?”
Trainee: “Shouldn’t we do some weights or something?”
Trainer: “It’s a bit hot.”
Trainee: “I’m sorry, I just don’t think this is working out.”
Car Pet
Finally got myself one of those Car Pets people talk so much about. But I have to say, I’m not very impressed.
It’s fur is rough, it refuses to be trained and is utterly unaffectionate. This is the worst pet ever. Seriously, you wouldn’t believe just how lazy it is.
On the plus side it seems to be fine left in the car with the windows up on a hot day.
C.T. Curio 