I think they want me to press this button. What do they think I am?


What’d you call me?


Check out this blatant use of stereo types in marketing.




This one contains real wood!

They don’t make sticks like they used to.


Sticking 2 It


Who needs copyright?



Off-Brand Costumes


No!  I refuse!  Your marketing makes no sense!


Infinite fruit all over the floor


 Why would anyone throw out this colouring book? 
It looked untouched but when I opened it up and all the pictures had already been done.  Except for their collars.


101 Merchandising Opportunities

photos, Writing

All of the Flavours


Natural and artificial?

That doesn’t really leave much out.

What are they telling us exactly?

This product both does and does not have the characteristic you may or may not be interested in.


“Does this contain nuts?”

“Well, some parts do, some parts don’t.”

“What does that mean?”

“Specifically the parts with nuts, they contain nuts.  The rest is nut free.”


Obviously it’s just because we have positive associations with the word ‘natural’ and the only way to legitimately include it here is to also include ‘artificial’ (because the flavour of these marshmallows flavour is not found in nature – you do not want to eat natural gelatin flavour).


Is it natural then? Are we not also a product of nature? Where do we draw the line between our manipulation of the natural world, what we find and repurpose from it and what me modify?

Is the extract of vanilla natural enough to save these impossibly pillowy  confections?

Can we put a flower in an android’s hair and somehow overcome its artificiality?

Is cotton natural considering the processes and cultivation involved?

Is a wooden house more natural than a concrete one?


I suppose if they just wrote “flavoured” it wouldn’t have the same connotations – and we take flavouring for granted. Though if it had just said nothing, I would have had nothing to write about. How artificially inspired.

photos, Writing

More is Better

Tired of 2 dimensional films?

Bored with 3 dimensions?

You’ve even tried making the images move by adding time and you can’t seem to break the banality of it all?

Well lament no more… Coming to a cinema near you* –


Critics are calling it: “Unreal”.

“I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.”

“That extra dimension really pulled me in.”

“I’d ride the penteract again.”




*actual proximity to cinema will vary depending on your position in space and time.  Depending on your adopted theory of a fifth dimension, your state on this plane could be mathematically valid but will have no bearing on your ability to locate the virtual rollercoaster.