Finally, after all this time, we can call off the search. It’s over. The days of wondering, pondering, wandering, the sleepless nights, this tireless investigation has taken its toll. Who, in the end, would dare claim that it was not all worthwhile? Who could have known, from the very beginning, that after all this, what we were searching for was right under our noses? But it doesn’t matter. We have them now. We have reached our goal. We have found the missing moustaches.
I spend my time searching the world for my doppelgänger. Because I believe that out there, somewhere, is my exact likeness. So one day, when I find him, I can train him to be my stunt double. Imagine the pranks I could pull. Walking with friends, I duck behind a bush only to leap out in front of a car. Wham! Never fear, I am fine. The looks on their faces. Priceless. Ever wanted to be in two places at once? I could do it. There I am, playing video games, but behold, I’m also at work completing all my tasks while juggling razor sharp snake venom machetes. Oh yes, meetings would be a breeze with my doppelgänger on hand to casually leap through a window on command. I wouldn’t even need to line up to get my license photo taken. And then, when the time is right, my doppelgänger stunt double will leap into action, only the car doesn’t stop, or I don’t arrange for the mattress to be placed just so, and my doppelgänger will be no more. I have just faked my own death. Which means that now, I am free. I can assume the identity of my doppelgänger. That guy’s awesome. I don’t want to be me. My life sucks. I spend all my time searching the world for my doppelgänger.