I’ve been considering a future in film making. I’m not sure I have what it takes for high functioning auterism. I’m certainly on the spectrum though.
Don’t believe everything you read – but this is true. A key component of saponification is a lie!
Soap maker: “Sell me lyes, sell me sweet little lyes.”
Took the kids to the zoo. We were hoping to see some big cats. All we saw were lines.
They have no pride.
When Ireland split into North and South, do you know why the South was sooooo much bigger?
It kept Dublin.
Trains are better than buses
Buses aren’t better than trains
If you still think buses are better
Try waiting when it rains.
You don’t get stuck in traffic
When you’re on a train, it’s true
Unless you’re at a level crossing
Then the traffic gets stuck on you.
So they’re replacing level crossings
So its safer for cars and trains
Which is why I’m catching buses
And complaining when it rains.
A teacher, a trainer and a facilitator walk into a bar.
The first says: “Do you realise that we each have different theoretical underpinnings which denote separate pedagogical practices?”
The second says: “But rather than being descriptive, our titles are industry based and continually re-defined and re-applied.”
The third says: “What actually happens, day to day while we undertake our work, depends on our individual characteristics far more than the label on our contracts.”
At this point the bartender turned around and said: “That’s very interesting. Which one of you just said that?”
But nobody knew.
A boar came into the hairdressers and wanted his hooves dyed. Between grunts and squeels he desribed some kind of off-yellow maroon. I couldn’t understand, what was it… the pig meant?
I’d been worried about my friend’s mood swings, always up and down.
One day I finally asked him if he had bi-polar disorder.
He said he did not. He’d already been to see a doctor. Turns out he was just on the spectrum.
Both ends of it.
I keep spelling the word ‘implement’ wrong.
Seems I need to implement an ‘implement’ implementation plan.
The blazing sun
Of summer fame
A gust of wind
It’s probably going to rain again
Melbourne weather’s like that.