Tag Archives: film
Auteur-bots Roll Out
I’ve been considering a future in film making. I’m not sure I have what it takes for high functioning auterism. I’m certainly on the spectrum though.
More is Better
Tired of 2 dimensional films?
Bored with 3 dimensions?
You’ve even tried making the images move by adding time and you can’t seem to break the banality of it all?
Well lament no more… Coming to a cinema near you* –
Critics are calling it: “Unreal”.
“I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.”
“That extra dimension really pulled me in.”
“I’d ride the penteract again.”
*actual proximity to cinema will vary depending on your position in space and time. Depending on your adopted theory of a fifth dimension, your state on this plane could be mathematically valid but will have no bearing on your ability to locate the virtual rollercoaster.
Serial Killer Movie Titles
So, there was a remake of a film on TV called ‘The Stepfather’ about a guy that moves in with a family, then murders them all before moving on. It looked pretty bad. But it made me wonder, what else would make good titles for serial killer movies?
The Orthodontist – “I’m sorry, those teeth have to come out”
The Optometrist – “The last thing you’ll ever see”
The Podiatrist – “Umm… something to do with feet?”
The Checkout Chick – “Time for you to check out / Clean up, aisle 9”
The IT guy – “He’ll try switching you off and on again” (some kind of cyborg, slasher thing)
The Forensic Scientist – “Oh wait, that’s Dexter. Much better title”
The Architect – “Devil in the detail / Your demise was predetermined / Bespoke Destruction”
The Baker – “Early to rise” (undead thriller?)
The Butcher – “… I’ve got nothing.”
The Candlestick Maker – “Jack be nimble, Jack be quick / You’re Snuffed”
The Motoring Enthusiast – “Yay, I’m a senator!” (An Australian horror story)
The Comedian – “He’ll have the last laugh”
The Locksmith – “You think you’re safe?”
The Philosopher – “I think, therefore you’re not”
Wax on, wax off
Brad Pitt’s latest film explores the trauma hairy men experience in a world obsessed with personal grooming…