Wait, should we wait for the waiter? I thought the waiter waits. Or are we supposed to wait for ourselves – surely we don’t wait for the waiter?
If the waiter waits does anybody wait?
Now the word wait just looks weird.
Wait.
Category Archives: Writing
something we don’t know
Do you ever get that strange feeling, that doubt, just on the edge of consciousness, as you drive towards a city, some known bastion of civilisation, when the visible length of your lane is empty but for you, yet there is an endless stream of traffic heading the opposite direction – do you ever, just for a moment, think… Godzilla?
The Audio File
As far as I’m concerned there’s no future in sound effect production.
It’s all foley.
Corny Flakes
I had cereal for breakfast, and again for dinner. I guess that makes me… A serial offender.
Sugar Rush
This morning I was pouring sugar from its bag into a bowl that we store it in and I was struck by the sensation of it all. That movement, the granular rush, the flow, I couldn’t help but be reminded of an hourglass. The slip of moments, seconds, minutes, time, passing away, drawing me forwards, ever closer to that inevitability – type 2 diabetes.
Preferential Treatment
I find I am torn between literal correctness and personal preference when I say that I do not consider flaying a peeling.
Which is odd, considering I’m not torn by quatering at all.
Intense
“I had tickets to see this circus, one of the old style circuses with wild animals and acrobats and fire-breathers. Anyway, the day finally came just as a cyclone hit the city. Rain was bucketing down from the sky and the tops of trees were sweeping the roads. And then, just as the whole wild menagerie drove into town it turned out the great hall had been double booked and the circus drew the short straw. Can you imagine it? All these giraffes and gymnasts, dwarves and dancing bears, parading down the street, ejected from their venue, wandering aimlessly.”
“That’s terrible. What happened?”
“Well they ended up performing outside! Lions and trapeze and all!”
“Wasn’t it dangerous in that weather?”
“A little. It was in tents.”
It’s not easy
Have you heard about the Diphy?
The religious sect that lives on a tall desolate death-trap of a mountain, where they balance for days on a single reed of bamboo, on one leg, and recite prayers in ancient Aramaic, translated into Klingon, and eat only one grain of rice a fortnight and are condemned by pain of death to vows of celibacy, silence and thinking only of the colour green?
Really, no?
You’ve never heard of the Diphy cult?
Priorities
“I will have have my revenge! If it’s the last thing I do!”
“Which it probably will be, seeing as this isn’t really high on my list of priorities.”
“So if I manage to get those other things done first, then revenge. Otherwise, meh.”
“In fact I’ll probably find better stuff to do before I even finish this list off, which will just add to the original delay before I have my revenge. So, I probably wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Unless this year is going to be excruciatingly boring, which given the current political climate seems unlikely, but if it is, then boom, you’d better watch your back. Revenge!”
“But most likely I will just go and watch a film or something until I’m over it.”
“Something light hearted, maybe with that guy from that movie about the monkey in it. You know the guy. Makes you laugh but then in the next moment makes you think. That guy is great in those things.”
“What I’m trying to say is that you probably shouldn’t have murdered my family, but I didn’t really like them anyway.”
“So… Don’t suppose you want to catch a movie?”
C.T. Curio 